Breaking Self-made Barriers- Week 6

I cannot believe it is October already. If feels as though I’ve been teaching forever but when I look at the calendar I’m reminded the year is still in its beginning stages. Like the fall weather my experience has slowly (and sometimes suddenly) been evolving. For one, I’ve begun to not only recognize student faces but also know the personalities that go with them. Attachments have begun to form in my heart towards many of these kids, and it’s strange to think I’ll have to leave them in twenty-two days for another school and another country. Goodness, how hard it is to fathom such a switch!

This week has been yet another tangled web of experiences. Since taking over the classroom, I’ve begun to navigate the waters of who I am as a teacher. I’ve asked, “What is my style when I’m given liberty to teach authentically? What management seems to work for me and these students?” In the past there has been much adopting on my part of the classroom dynamics that are already in place by the teacher. Now, however, I find myself reinventing the way things are done. I daily use phrases like “When Miss Matson teaches…” or “in Miss Matson’s class we…” to reconfigure some of the classroom. Now I’m definitely not overhauling the entire structure of what the kids are used to, but there is a gradual increase of my own unique methods and styling present in the gym.

As these things have taken shape, I’ve started to notice how my own personal perspectives and biases effect my teaching. (IPTS 1F) I began questioning why I was teaching certain ways. Were my choices coming from the understanding of student needs or meeting my own? At the beginning of the week, I was fairly fixated on having the ideal classroom. Learning would be structured, following a planned sequence, and everyone would be highly engaged. Yet as the lessons went by, I began to feel downcast and frustrated. They weren’t looking the way I wanted, and I felt like I was failing. Thankfully by Thursday I had an epiphany of sorts. It dawned on me the only reason I felt like I was failing was because of some preconceived notion I had of how my classroom should look. When I adjusted my focus back on meeting the needs of the individual students in my classroom (IPTS 2P), slowly the feelings of failure ebbed away. From an outsider’s point of view, my classes may look messy. My learners aren’t all in a line, demonstrating perfect throwing form. No, they’re learning. And learning, come to find, allows room for mistakes.

This week I’ve also started taking time to really engage learners in a personal, one-on-one way. Before it seemed like a power struggle between keeping that perfect whole class structure and allowing time to interact with each student. I think I’m slowly starting to understand the balance. As I worked with students, I began to cater my instruction to their needs. I became a facilitator between two students struggling socially, a coach for the student stuck on a problem, and an audience member for the student ready to tell me what they had discovered. (IPTS 5K) In doing so, I felt the environment of the classroom shift as students were given support and not just direction. Not only that but I also felt an emotional shift in myself were I was truly enjoying each period and its challenges! By the last classes of the day I was happily saying to myself bring it on 1st grade (the age that truly intimates me the most!), let’s see what we can do.

Goals for next Week:

1) facilitate learning experiences that make connections to other life experiences and content areas

2) find more ways to utilize students with IEPs with moderate to severe physical disabilities in every aspect of the lesson